About Amorous Spotted Slugs

     Amorous Spotted Slugs are nocturnal and extremely rare. Toivo Rantamaki, Professor Emeritus of Finlandia University, is one of the few people who has extensively studied the cultural habits of the Amorous Spotted Slug. His thirty years of research (including nine years of cohabitation with the A.S.S.) suggest Amorous Spotted Slugs originated in the Amazon Jungle and migrated to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula on a drifting coconut during the Great Biblical Flood. Unicorns were not as fortunate. (Rantamaki is currently exploring the Amazon backwaters in search of genetic evidence to confirm his theory.) The Upper Peninsula remains the Amorous Spotted Slugs’ last known breeding ground. According to Professor Rantamaki, Trolls carry a deadly virus that prevents A.S.S. from propagating below the bridge.

     Amorous Spotted Slugs are easily identified by their yellow color, heart-shaped red spots, and friendly smile. The sex life of the Amorous Spotted Slug is rather unusual. Before copulating they perform a ritualistic mating dance, which is quite intricate. Each subspecies has a slightly different cadence. Professor Rantamaki asserts the choreography is unique within the animal kingdom, but is best viewed with time-lapse photography and night-vision goggles. We discourage people from making pets of Amorous Spotted Slugs, although we realize their charm makes them irresistible. S.L.I.M.E. Headquarters receives many queries each year concerning proper feeding and care of A.S.S. According to Professor Rantamaki, Amorous Spotted Slugs prefer pasty scraps, but also have a sweet tooth for Mackinac Island fudge. Whatever you do, please do not take them below the bridge as this will be fatal.

     Most people are unaware that Amorous Spotted Slugs are party animals. It is not uncommon to find an A.S.S. dressed up in black tie on his way to a formal dinner party. They excel on the dance floor, although they prefer slow dances.